You are on the other end of a painful relationship. It is drifting into the sunset. All of the pain has become memory for life’s tough education, and now you are thinking it is time for a rebound relationship. Whether you are thinking of casual dating, or even jumping into a serious romance, these five questions can save you a lot of heartache.
1. Are you still comparing new people to your ex?
You know the story. You are telling the outside world your ex is far from your mind, out of your heart, cleared from your thoughts, but in reality you are still comparing everyone who flashes a flirty smile or strikes up a conversation to your ex. No one can win this game of compare and contrast. You can, should, and hopefully will stop the game. When you no longer feel compelled to compare potential new loves to your ex, then you are ready to rebound.
2. Are you craving fun?
Let’s start with the question of fun. Are you ready to have fun? Fun, after all, is good free medicine. You don’t have to rebound with serious intentions. It’s best to play it casual, and let yourself have a little fun. It’s not always the right time. Many of us need to shut ourselves inside after a breakup, and the thought of dating is completely not appealing. Don’t let yourself stay shut in for too long. Ask yourself if some fun is what you need? Dating won’t heal you, but it will help you stay connected to the present and smile a bit.
3. Can you imagine yourself dating again?
You might be ready for something more serious than fun and a casual relationship. Before rebounding to any degree, it is important to imagine yourself living out a new relationship. How do you feel? If the images in your mind are exciting, even thrilling, then you are ready to rebound. The mind is a powerful tool. Let your mind guide you. Don’t shy away from the answer.
4. Are things really finished with your ex?
This is important. Don’t use a rebound for revenge in between your long term relationship. This can become a recipe for heartbreak and endless drama. Be sincere with those you date or love.Don’t play people against each other. If you are certain things are finished with your ex, move on, date, have fun, find love, but don’t make life as complicated as a daytime soap opera.
5. Have you asked your inner circle for wisdom?
Have you consulted your tribe about whether or not they think you are ready to rebound? The answers to most of life’s question reside with our tribes, or those people we keep close, confide in, and loosely call ‘family’, or community. So many of you answers are them with them, and this definitely applies when you are thinking of rebounding after a painful relationship. Your tribe has watched you in your journey. They see more of you then you could ever see, so ask them if you are ready to rebound.
If you have spent time with these 5 questions, and you still think now is the time to rebound, then do it. Research from Princeton University suggests, contrary to popular thought, the next relationship may be the best yet. Princeton researchers found no proof rebound relationships are doomed to fail.
Rebounding is ok. It’s part of the process. The question is: are you ready? If you are ready, knock them dead.