How to break free from jealousy
Imagine the following situation: you’re having dinner at a fancy restaurant with your beloved, when suddenly, a genetically-gifted young woman walks through the door and comes to join you. Your beau introduces her as “the new intern at work”. How do you react? A) You strike up a conversation with her in an effort to make the evening pleasant, B) You flash her your nicest smile and compliment her elegant little black dress, or C) You stare her down and wonder how many times a day she and your boyfriend flirt at the office.
If you answered “A” or “B”, congratulations! Your relationship seems healthy and free of jealousy. However, if “C” is your final answer, it’s very possible that jealousy rears its nasty little head a little too often between you and your guy; read on for some interesting info on the topic, and a few pointers on how to control this common emotion.
A universal feeling
First of all, let’s make one thing clear: jealousy is a natural emotion that most people experience at least once in their lifetime when it comes to romance. Often brought on by the fear of losing their partner, jealousy is usually the result of a lack of self-confidence and a feeling of insecurity in the relationship. This emotion is not unhealthy in itself; it’s what you do with it that can poison your love life.
When jealousy becomes a sickness
Jealousy can easily become an obsession; someone who suffers from neurotic jealousy constantly imagines situations and relationships where their partner cheats on them, and looks for all the possible indicators of a betrayal. As a result, they are always analyzing their boyfriend’s actions—seemingly trivial details become “proof” that he’s done something wrong. These never-ending suspicions are toxic for the relationship. They can even lead to its downfall if the partner gets fed up of constantly having to reassure them, when in fact they’ve done nothing wrong.
Jealousy can also have a negative impact on self-esteem. If someone is convinced they are being betrayed, they are also likely to start doubting that they deserve their partner’s love in the first place. The jealous person may even come to consider separation if the relationship becomes unbearable.
On the bright side, it is possible to overcome jealousy. The first step is to come to the realization that this venomous emotion has become a problem in your relationship. Here are a few tips to help conquer your emotions:
Take a deep breath, relax, and try to reverse the roles in your relationship. More often than not, you’ll find that you are worrying for no reason.
Question yourself when you’re feeling jealous: are you reacting in such a way because you’re afraid of losing your guy? Do you feel excluded or humiliated? Is the other party really a rival? By doing this, at least you’ll be able to pinpoint the reason for your uneasiness.
Talk about it!
Talking to your partner about what you’re feeling will help him to better understand what’s going on in your head, and he’ll learn to be more careful and not behave in such a way that could hurt you (without compromising his own freedom and friendships, of course).
Stop believing in your imaginary fears and forget about the worst-case scenarios you keep envisioning. Basing your relationship on such an uneasy feeling could keep you from fully experiencing all the love your beau is trying to bestow on you. Know that if he’s in a committed relationship with YOU, it’s because he’s happy to be!