“All good things must come to an end.” Surely you’ve heard this quote before. It was coined by a fairly famous guy you might’ve heard of, Geoffrey Chaucer. If you haven’t heard of him, Google it, it’s 2015. Anyway, I digress. This article isn’t about Geoffrey Chaucer. This article is about this totally off-base methodology that a person can be “just friends” with their ex. For the people who believe in this methodology, just know you’re wrong and keep reading.
Why is this person your ex?
This person is your ex because your relationship didn’t work. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. You dated, it was fun, and then one, or both of you realized it was time to move on. If you decided you didn’t want to date this person, why would you want to be friends with them?
To begin, you’ve seen each other naked. Not only have you seen each other naked, but you’ve also probably had some intense sex. When you’ve had intense sex with someone, you can’t be just friends with them. It’s literally impossible. Not to mention, you weren’t friends before you dated. Both of you had a strictly sexual attraction to each other. That was what came into your mind first, and that is what will always be in your mind when you see or speak to this person. For this reason alone, the two of you will never be “just friends”. And if you were friends before you started dating, go back and read the third sentence of this paragraph, again.
There are only two reasons that people who dated continue speaking post breakup:
Reason one is because you two plan on getting back together. Maybe you’re trying to figure some things out, maybe you two just have to worry about yourselves for a little bit. Regardless, the reason you are still speaking is to get back together. You’re not speaking as friends, you’re speaking like you’re still dating. There’s nothing friendly about it.
Reason two is because you two are still having sex. Sure, you both go out, have some fun, and do your thing. However, you’re still sleeping together roughly three times a week. This is that stage where you both don’t want to date each other; but you haven’t found another person to sleep with. And this is also the type of post breakup speaking that ends messy. You both end up at the same bar, one of you ends up making out with some stranger, and then the screaming match ensues. Yes, you’ve all been there.
Can you see any reason at all why you and your ex should be speaking? Face it, you can’t. What could you possibly have to talk about? Not only that, but how are either of you ever going to move on if you continue to pretend that you’re friends? You won’t, you’ll just keep running around in this circle that’s a mixture of pissed off and confused. They’ll always be the anchor holding you down. Be an adult, and move on with your life.