The most depressing thing to watch is two people who are meant for each other do things in their relationship that eventually make it come to an end. They are so happy in the beginning and then boom, one night they are in it to win it and the next they are done for good. Each relationship is different, but after observing a lot of failed relationships and relationships that work- I have deciphered 9 different things that happy couples do on a day to day basis, that make their relationship last.
9. Talk before bed.
According to University of Minnesota’s family social science professor Paul Rosenblatt, PhD, author of “Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing”, he states that spending a few minutes chatting every night before sleep lets you catch up, make plans and discuss problems in a quiet, tender setting- which in turn allows you to be on the same page, understand each other and be happy with the plans that you both make and allows you to go to sleep happily, so you can hopefully dream of each other and wake up in a positive state.
8. Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
This is something we all believe, but none of us actually do. Keeping the fights clean and the sex dirty leads to a much happier relationship. When you are with someone who belittles you and does not support you- you’re already losing. The happiest couples strive to make each other better with their words and when it comes to sex, they spice it up and make it interesting. Communication is key.
7. Soften up.
I hate it when people try to act hard and play games with each other. Love is not a game, nor is it something that you should have to hold your ground with. The happiest of couples soften up and let each other see a different side of them that nobody else sees.
6. Allow each other to grow.
A happy relationship does not allow envy or jealousy to take over, nor does either person get mad when the other wants to follow a passion or a dream. They express words of kindness to one another and they lift the other up when they are feeling down. They want this other person to grow mentally, physically and emotionally and will give them their space to do so.
5. Learn from each other.
As much as they allow each other to grow, they learn from their significant other as well. No matter what it is, everyday they learn something from a hardship or words of advice on things from work to personal life. When something goes wrong, not only do they put the issues out in the open but they learn from these issues and have the patience to understand what is really going on.
4. They flirt.
After a certain period of time, sometimes you forget how good you have it and you forget the basics of why you are together in the first place. What was it about this other person that caught your attention? Was it the way she laughed or how he calls you “baby”? Maybe it was the way she scrunches her nose when she is trying to be cute or the way he touched you the first time you were on a date. The happiest of couples do not forget about the small things, and flirting is one of them. That could be leaving little notes around the house expressing your gratitude for them or touching them right where they want to be touched. When you flirt with someone, you make them feel good and that should make you feel good. These people keep the good feelings going and always remember to compliment, touch and do things to make the other person fall in love, day in and day out.
3. They forgive.
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things in the world to do for someone but happy couples genuinely forgive each other for things that they did that upset the other person. No matter what it is, big or small, they realize that whatever happened is not big enough to fight about for days and it is definitely not big enough to hold a grudge over. The happiest couples forgive each other whole heartedly.
2. Cultivate common interests.
Once the passion is gone and the sparks are dulling down, there needs to be something between the two of you that will keep you going. When happy couples have common interests, they take these interests and run with them. If that means setting aside a time to watch both of your favorite show a certain night of the week, they never miss that night each week simply because it’s something they both love and it will bring them together. If you don’t have a lot of interests in the beginning, these people both look for things that they both like to do, and do them together as much as possible.
1. Put issues out in the open.
The biggest threat I find in long term relationships is animosity. Especially those relationships with marriage and kids involved. These people never said anything to the other about problems and over time, these problems build up to the point of no return and they end up hating each other for it. The first step to solving a problem is admitting it, putting it out in the open and tackling it head on. When you don’t say anything, nothing will be solved.