Will pain during intercourse and a lower sex drive be a problem following the birth of your baby? Sexologist Anne-Marie St-André demystifies the most common myths about sex after childbirth.
Myth no 1: Making love after giving birth hurts just like the very first time.
According to St-André, it all depends on the labour. “If there has been any tearing, it goes without saying that you should proceed gently.” Preparing beforehand, including preliminaries and the use of lubricant, is necessary. St-André also suggests doing Kegel exercises in order to tone your pelvic muscles, which will help increase blood circulation, thereby improving lubrication.
Myth no 2: Sex drive plummets after giving birth.
Not necessarily. “During breastfeeding, prolactin is secreted, which reduces levels of dopamine, the hormone responsible for our sex drive. Therefore, we must stimulate the production of dopamine by exercising, laughing or increasing sexual stimulation to regain said sex drive,” says St-André. However, if your sex drive is still below zero after a month or two and it begins to affect your relationship, it is best to consult a doctor or sexologist.
Myth no 3: Men no longer desire their wives after childbirth.
“A woman’s image is transformed after a baby’s arrival: she is no longer just the lover, but she is also the mother,” explains the expert. “It is important to include the father in the child’s life. If the woman takes care of everything, the man’s self-esteem will drop and he will lose interest in his partner.” Hence, don’t be afraid to delegate, for a healthy sex life depends on it!
Myth no 4: Fatigue outweighs the desire to make love.
“Evidently, fatigue affects our sex drive. It is important for the mother to rest when baby does and to ask for help with household chores”, explains St-André. Friends and family can lend a helping hand. Other resources such as family centers can also help.
Finally, St-André stresses that it is paramount to not forget who you are as a person, as a partner, and as a parent. “You must pay equal attention to all of these roles and avoid putting emphasis on a single one in order to not lose yourself in the process.”
