Anal sex—however much it has been talked about over the years—still remains a taboo subject for some. While jokes are constant about how much guys want it and how often women refuse it, we’ve polled you guys and 34% of you have actually attempted it (and enjoyed it!) and 13% would sure like to give it a shot (pun intended). If you’ve still got some qualms about it, read on for information and tips in our beginner’s guide to anal sex.
1. Make sure you want it. No sex act is pleasurable if you’re doing it half-heartedly. Be 100% certain that you want to do this and that it’s not pressured upon you by anyone. If you have reservations and are still curious to try, talk it out with your man and perhaps do some research to see if it’s right for you.
2. Use a condom. This is an imperative step in anal sex. Like vaginal intercourse, anal sex without a condom poses a high risk of transmitting HIV and other STIs. And don’t forget to switch condoms and clean up if you move on to vaginal sex afterwards, as not doing so could lead to infection.
3. Don’t forget the lube. The anus isn’t as self-lubricating like the vagina, so lubricant (in ample amounts, even) is required to make the act as pleasurable as possible. Ideally, opt for a water-based lube, as it is most compatible with latex condoms.
4. Start small. If this is your first time trying it, try anal sex in tiny steps, as the anus is too sensitive for your guy to enter from the get-go. For the first few times, ask him to gently insert a lube-covered finger then two to loosen you up a bit, and maybe even gradually move up to a butt plug or small dildo (with condom) before being penetrated by your man.
5. Pick a good position. Different positions provide various sensations and depths of penetrations, with “doggie-style” being the most common. However, a spooning position is the ideal choice if you’re trying anal sex for the first time, as it gives you, the receiver, more control over the position, allowing you to accommodate the intensity to your liking and comfort level.
6. Relax. A tense anus will only make the act less comfortable and a bit painful for you. Ask your man to gently massage your lower back and buttocks, as this will relax the gluteal and anal muscles. Beforehand, you can even try Kegel exercises to relax and strengthen your muscles.
7. Go slow and communicate. Your guy should enter you very slowly in small increments, without the use of any force. (With enough lubricant, your man can easily slide in.) Talk during, and let him know if he can go further or if you’re feeling any pain or discomfort (if that is the case, tell him to gently withdraw). By taking your time, the experience will be enjoyable for both you and your partner.