Dating as an introvert can be a terrifying experience. Hundreds of unpleasant thoughts might run through your head as you prepare for your big night out. What if I have nothing to say? What if he doesn’t like me? What if I don’t like him? Do I sleep with him on the first date? How does any of this work? If you’re freaking out in a jealous rage over all the extroverted girls who just have it so easy, don’t worry. We’re here to help.
Be open and honest
While you may not be the most comfortable at discussing your life and interests, let’s face it—that’s what dating is about. But that doesn’t mean you have to sweat in nervous anticipation of your turn to talk. Guys like it when girls aren’t afraid to show their true colours on a first date. It makes you unique, and makes the date more fun for both of you. It might be a good idea to hold back on the super embarrassing details on a first date (like that time you threw up at your best friend’s wedding) but don’t be afraid to be colourful. It will make you memorable.
Be real about your expectations
The reason we all date is to find someone we think is compatible, and that we would enjoy spending a large portion of our time with. Because of this, it’s important that you be upfront about what your hobbies and lifestyle are like. As an introvert, you may regularly skirt the party and bar scene. In fact, you may avoid it altogether. And that’s totally okay, unless the person you’re dating has something different in mind. They say that opposites attract, and that’s true to some degree, but if the guy you’re seeing wants to go out partying twice in a weekend and all you want to do is curl up with Netflix, it can be a real source of tension between you. Find somebody who is down to snuggle up with a movie… but who can occasionally gently pull you out of the house, too
Don’t be afraid to spark a conversation
You may live in absolute terror of starting a conversation with the guy you’re meeting for a first date. It’s only natural. But the good news is there’s less pressure on you than you may think when it comes to holding up a conversation over dinner. People instinctually are self-interested, and love to talk about their own lives. Ask questions about what he likes to do, or what his life aspirations are, and you’ll quickly find that holding a conversation doesn’t have to be a daunting task, but actually enjoyable. Plus, it gives you a chance to really get to know him, and if you find what he says genuinely interesting, that’s a great sign for future dates.
In short, there’s no way around it: dating is more intimidating for introverts. Being social is not your thing, and dating is a social activity. But that doesn’t mean it has to be a complete disaster; in fact it can actually be quite enjoyable. Take a deep breath, and if you ever feel an uncomfortable silence coming, make sure you have a deep list of questions to draw from, to keep the conversation going. As for how fast to let things progress physically, do what feels natural. If there is an instant and intense chemistry between you, there’s nothing wrong with going home with him the first date. If you’re a little unsure, no need to rush things. He will let you know if he’s into you; and you’ll eventually let him know when you’re ready.