Oral sex can be weird, awkward, and amazing. When women go down on a guy, we often let our mind wander to subjects like the meaning of life, what we’re doing with our future, and if we left the stove on. Yep, we excel at multitasking. However, sometimes our thoughts get the better of us. Here’s a list about some of the things we think about when giving blow jobs.
The Slow Poke
Everyone knows the one – the guy who takes his sweet time receiving oral sex. He sits back and relaxes like he’s lounging by a pool in a 5-starresort. You yank, squeeze, lick, and give it your all, but he still won’t climax. It’s almost a battle of wits between your tongue and his penis. Although you feel a sense of accomplishment when you finally reach your goal, you just wish he’d last as long when he’s making love to you!
Surprise Ending
The antithesis of the slow poke, the surprise ending is just that – it catches you by surprise. While you build yourself up, thinking about how this is going to be the best blow job in the history of the world, and how he is going to remember this for years to come. He’ll never know what…oops, spoke to soon.
The Hairy Situation
This is tricky. There\s a load of hair surrounding your man. It is almost like you’re trying to parachute into a jungle, but the target is covered by a thick canopy of forest. Once you emerge from the underbrush, you may find that you have hair stuck in your teeth. Gross, right? Is it really that hard to trim the bushes?
Is he thinking about…?
Yep, you guessed it. Is he thinking about me, or that cute brunette barista who was hitting on him at the coffee shop? God, I hope he isn’t thinking about Ariana Grande. She’s so skinny. I do like one of her songs though. Okay, he’s looking at me now. Give him the sexy eyes. There they are. Nailed it!
Is He Man Enough
If he’s man enough, he won’t mind if I slowly slide my finger near his butt and…okay, okay, red light, red light. He definitely did not enjoy that. Guys are so insecure.
The Sound Of Music
Oh wow, he’s really enjoying this. My technique is flawless. Perfected to an art form, even. I can see the pleasure in his eyes and his moans are really flattering. Wait a minute… can guys fake it?
Girls can multitask. So when we’re doing our thing with a guy’s penis, we tend to think about all kinds of things. Thankfully, guys are easy to please. Just remember to tell your guy one simple thing: he has to return the favor.
