Let’s talk about sex!
Whether between friends during GNO or pillow talk with sweetie, when it comes to sex, we are either very private about it, or simply don’t hesitate to open up when need be! We occasionally have questions, and get as much information as possible, but between opinions and facts, we must admit that we aren’t 100% certain on all matters of sex. And having false information can definitely have repercussions where our sex lives are concerned. So a spring cleaning of our sexual beliefs is in order—we’ve got three myths, demystified!
Myth #1: Alcohol increases sexual desire.
It’s a known fact: alcohol tends to lower people’s inhibitions. In other words, it “dilutes” shyness, and systematically transforms it into a strong carnal desire. Alcohol promotes physical and emotional release, all the while facilitating sociability. So far, it may seem harmless, but be warned…
In small doses, alcohol can offer you a bit of liquid courage when it comes to your sex life, but it can have a complete opposite effect when you’ve consumed too much. Alcohol alters your brain’s activity, your sensations and behaviour. Simply put: nothing will work in your favour, with sexual desire diminishing drastically. Men, for example, will have more difficulty prolonging their erection, whereas women’s vaginal secretions (for natural lubrication) won’t be as abundant.
While a glass or two of wine will turn you from a kitten to a tiger in the bedroom, remind yourself that it may not take much more for you to have certain regrets once you’ve sobered-up the next morning.
Myth #2: “Normal” couples have weekly sex.
A little, a whole lot, not enough… The only questions to ask here is, “Normal compared to whom?” In reality, sexual normalcy is what you make of it—it’s your values and needs that are met, and which are convenient for you.
If there is a discrepancy between you and your partner on the frequency in which you want to have sex, know that this doesn’t have to be a barometer for your relationship’s success or failure. Whatever anyone else suggests, some couples can have a fulfilling love life with limited sexual intimacy.
Whether physical or psychological factors come into play, there are many reasons that can explain why a couple has a decreased or complete absence of sexual desire. What really counts is our willingness to broach the subject and our ability to accept one another as is. But it is first and foremost the vision we have of sex, which certainly shouldn’t be confined to genital-to-genital contact alone!
Myth #3: For a satisfying sex life, it’s important to fulfill all fantasies.
Sexual fantasies: there’s one for all tastes! That said, they’re just as varied as they are complex. For some people, they’re associated to specific objects, whereas for others, it’s more about games and certain dream scenarios.
The million dollar question: “Is it necessary to turn these sexual fantasies into reality?” In short, this is a personal choice. It is important to note, however, that while fantasies can increase desire and titillate the senses, they tend to lose their powers after they’ve come to life. The result? Being disappointed during, or after the fantasy has been materialized.
While this can be exciting for you, it may not necessarily be so for your partner. In order to avoid any mistakes, it’s important to take the time to communicate, so that each person’s preferences and comfort levels are taken into consideration.