Whenever you hear the doorbell ring do you leap to hide your vibrator from the harsh, prying eyes of friends and family in some kind of Pavalovian response? Instead of keeping your vibrators so well hidden they might as well be honorary members of the Witness Protection Program for sex toys, why not invest in tech so covert that it makes James Bond’s gadget arsenal look lame in comparison? Besides, let’s be real, what’s really more useful – a laser lipstick that can cut through walls or one that will deliver earth-shattering orgasms at the touch of a button? Read on to discover a certified armory of vibrators that you can nonchalantly leave around the house without worrying about anyone discovering their true purpose.
1. MIA 2 by Lelo: At a first glance it just looks like a simple tube of lipstick, but that’s not but a cunning ruse to hide its true purpose: a super powerful vibrator. It’s waterproof and USB-rechargeable, so you can plug it into your computer and wait for it to reach full power, like a sneaky spy downloading top-secret government files. It’s easy to use controls explore 6 different vibration patterns. So cool!
Mia 2 vibrator by Lelo, $79.90 online.
2. Little Chroma by JimmyJane: Although it looks like the neuralyzer (aka “the flashy thing”) from Men in Black that makes you forget everything, it’s actually a super quiet vibrator. Its classic, simple shape is discreet and easy to slip into your bag.
Little Chroma by JimmyJane, $125.00, online.
3. Revel Body SOL Sonic Vibrator: If we’re drawing a loose parallel with spy gadgets here, this one would definitely belong to the villain. Although it looks like an evil Pokeball, it’s actually a state-of-the-art, quiet vibrator. The tip vibrates, whereas the backside of the device is designed to create underwater suction and vibration. Best bath ever!
Revel Body SOL Sonic Vibrator, $139.00 online.
4. BlueMotion Nex 1 by OhMiBod: This Bluetooth enabled, wearable vibrator comes with an app that controls the stimulation – super low-key and wearable 24/7. Even if someone stumbled across this florescent vibrator in your drawer, it just looks like some fancy new kind of avant-garde mouse. Nothing to see here, folks!
OhMiBod blueMotion Nex 1 Vibrator: Bluetooth/WiFi with app, $129.00 online or at Amazon.
5. Limon by Minna : This vibrator is sooo cute, and it features a range of customizable vibration patterns so you can personalize your experience and squeeze every last drop of pleasure out of this super cute lemon-shaped vibrator. Rechargeable and waterproof, who would ever think its actual purpose is to ensure some high-quality jilling off?
Limon Vibrator by Minna, $119 online.
6. I Rub my Duckie by Big Teaze Toys: Okay, we’re not so sure about this one, but you’ve got to admit that this is THE most masterfully disguised vibrator of all time. Although the jury is still out on whether this invention is brilliant or crazy, this is truly the double-agent of vibrators.
I Rub My Duckie Classic 3 Speed Vibrator in Yellow by Big Teaze Toys, $32 online or at Amazon.