Some people refer to it poetically as “the little death”, while others just call it the big “O”. There are even people who use it the same way as they would an anti-depressant drug. Even in 2015, orgasm remains a somewhat enigmatic phenomenon: here’s some info to help you delve a bit deeper into the subject.
This being said, having an orgasm goes way beyond its physical manifestations. In fact, when engaging in sexual intercourse, the hypophysis, a cerebral gland, emits endorphins: a 100% natural hormone that bears strange similarities to the drug morphine. Also, your brain gives you a treat: it secretes an antidepressant hormone named DHEA (or dehydroepiandrosterone) five times more during orgasm!<
Vaginal orgasm vs. clitoral orgasm
Ah, the famous duel that fuels women’s sexual preoccupations … It’s not always easy to achieve orgasm merely through vaginal penetration; it’s like expecting a man to climax just by tickling his balls! Certain studies have revealed that only 25% of women are capable of achieving the big “O” through penetration. For others, sex needs to involve some kind of clitoral stimulation.
Could it be more difficult for women?
It seems men have an easier time achieving orgasm because their genitalia are more easily accessible. However, orgasm requires a healthy psychological state, as well as the ability to completely “let go” for both men and women; in this respect, it can be just as difficult for a man to climax as it is for a woman. Ideally, a woman’s clitoris should play an important part in lovemaking: but many men tend to forget it, or aren’t sure how to caress it. This is why communication is crucial when you are engaging in sexual activities. Show your partner what turns you on by guiding his hands, or even by caressing yourself while he watches. This technique will accentuate both your and his pleasure: you’ll probably notice a change for the better in your next few lovemaking sessions.
Some people have the ability (the gift, if you ask us!) to achieve multiple orgasms one after the other, within a short span of time during sexual intercourse. This phenomenon is a lot more common in women than in men, whose refractory period is longer. In fact, after having climaxed, a man feels his sexual desire die down, which causes him to gradually lose his erection: this prevents him from having another orgasm. On the other hand, a woman can continue to be sexually aroused even after having climaxed and even orgasm again within the next few moments.
When it’s just not in the cards
Not being able to achieve orgasm is called anorgasmia. This kind of sexual dysfunction is much more frequent in women. However, not being able to have an orgasm does not mean that a woman does not feel sexual pleasure during intercourse. Fatigue, different preoccupations, difficulties in the relationship with her partner, low self-esteem, her vision of sexuality, etc. can all greatly influence a woman’s ability to achieve the elusive big “O”. To help you on your quest for climax, a sexologist can personally guide you towards different thought processes and help you to overcome the problem.
Simultaneous orgasms: a myth?
When you set a goal for yourself during sex, it’s very possible you’ll overlook the intrinsic pleasure of lovemaking. In fact, believing that it is essential to climax at the same time as your partner greatly reduces your chances of having an orgasm at all. The important thing about sexual intercourse is that it is pleasurable to both partners– whether you achieve orgasm simultaneously or not.
To recap: it’s important to understand that orgasm should not be viewed as the ultimate goal of overall satisfactory sexual activity, and that it shouldn’t hold center stage in your relationship. The key is to promote communication in order to develop a sexual intimacy that increases arousal and overall pleasure from one encounter to the next.